Always in my prayers and through my regenerate heart but outwardly I don’t boast continually in God for The Love He has given me for this man. God has gifted me Gary for almost 20 years! It’s really quite amazing; I’ve been blown away constantly at the magnitude in which I am able to Love! Realizing firstly that it’s by the grace of God I can Love without agenda and with open arms (rather than clenched fists) is mind blowing. It allows my husband to know the freedom and grace of Jesus he so desperately has needed, not too mention, Gary knows my Love is based on someOne (The Holy God) more than what he does or doesn’t do and is absolutely In Christ driven, not Gary driven! This newfound passion for Gary far outweighs the sinners, shameful lust I felt for him before, yes even as a married couple it just happens because sin is so wretched a disease, one typically isn’t aware that you even have it! So when the grace of God comes on you like a siv, beautiful things happen, eyes start opening and everyone looks different and then you reflect back and go man, what in the world kind of selfish torture was I in!? I’m so grateful God is very generous in revealing things about me…the more I desire to know the depths of my issues, the more He cleanses them, and frees me of them every single time! I know longer have to dwell that this life is all about me or my family; it’s All about Him, The Sovereign Holy in which I get to intimately seek and find refuge, strength, everlasting love for Him and for the people He places in my life.
” The God of glory sometimes revealed Himself like a sun to warm and bless, indeed, but often to astonish, overwhelm, and blind before He healed and bestowed permanent sight. This God of our fathers wills to be The God of their succeeding race. We have only to prepare Him a habitation in love and faith and humility. We have but to want Him badly enough, and He will come and manifest Himself to us.” The Knowledge of The Holy