The Driving Force of God through an imperfect marriage. Forced to take an honest look at me.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote that ‘Christian marriage is marked by discipline and self-denial . . . Christianity does not therefore depreciate marriage, it sanctifies it.’”

Changing how we look at marriage – as a means of discovering God and becoming more Christlike in the process – is not an easy task. But the rewards are not limited to heaven.

God used Gary as His vessel to help me with weak boundaries, no convictions, to tame my stubbornness and to increase my Faith in JESUS! 
 
Gary and I met in 1998 – drama scene right out of a reality show or soap opera – I went to church solo but I had zero commitment to The Lord – little did I know at the time, that God would use Gary in such a painful, yet refining way, through his obsessive/controlling nature that would drive me to My Perfect Savior, Jesus Christ.  The church was just a place, and the people there didn’t mean much to me.
Growing in relationship with 2 very imperfect people with extreme selfishness, it wasn’t  very pleasant at times.  Gary’s controlling and suffocating nature was too much and my stubborn, independent nature tried to push away, causing major anxiety, irritation, and resentment.
11 years of life went on  – and it was a sinner’s perilous fun.
2009 – by God’s Grace, I was Regenerated by the perfect blood of Christ – Alive and fully aware of my newfound Love and Authority, set free from bondage to sin, could not continue in outward sins -the desire was removed, started studying God’s Word to know Him, Thirsty, Faith Driven, Anxiety was gone, I was joyful but saddened in knowing the world and the road that was ahead.
2012 – Moved to Coronado – I was immediately Injected into a Family of Believers that I’d never been lead to before, fell in Love, Increasingly Abundant Faith, over and over God’s hand of protection started revealing Himself in all of those years I never knew Him or Loved Him. Became Zealously in Love with my Savior at His Mercy and long suffering with me, oh the devil’s hypocrisy seemed alive and well and jealous outcry’s occurred as I drew even nearer and boldly professed my Love,  I went to The Lord in tears almost daily, Gary in the midst was still himself, but I knew that there was no condemnation in Christ, but still my stubbornness and resentment showed itself more and it was the thing God revealed that was my deep rooted sin, The closer I got to God, the harder it seemed at the time but Love started becoming real in my view of Gary,  still, I had a major thorn that wouldn’t go away, the controlling nature seemed to be in competition, so I just felt I could step back and pray so I hid in The Lord and let God reluctantly. Started praying and to God’s Glory, Gary started moving.
2013 – Gary started going to church automatically every week for the first time in 13 years.
2016 – I Realized I have a VITAL Heart Beating Role in Gary’s life, to breathe life and Christ’s Amazing Grace, through God’s Word; I was not Loving well at all still, resentment still bubbled over, I was still learning but I was eager so I kept asking; Determined (granted, the very nature God gave me – Stubborn in my learning but now it is In Christ and for His Glory) – Because of God’s Grace, No longer were my acts in vain. Everything is being restored and I had no power to mess up God’s plan.
2017 – The Holy Spirit empowered and strengthened me to move in with Love, then Gary got cancer, then He got Baptized, then I had all this time with him that I had never had before and I was ready and prepared by His Amazing Grace and Perfect Timing to breathe New Life with God’s Word and through The Holy Spirit!  WOW!  All of last year, my role was to continue to be a Vessel to setting Gary Free through God’s Grace, letting him know at every sweet opportunity, that God is Our Rock, Our Fortress, I am steadfast because of Him, I will not be moved because of Him, I love you Gary because of Jesus, I needed you and God used your nature to bring me to Christ, and now you can let go, you can be Free from this nature, because The Lord says, We are His!  And in all of this Sanctification, it continues to spill widely over into our life with our kids, our church, and GMS which is the very reason why we are always growing and changing, movement is happening because we always learning new things from His Revelation in His Timing.  Meanwhile our privaledge is to Cling to Worshiping Him in all things, His Word, His Authority, The Bread of Life, The Giver of our soul, leaving The Results up to Him.
Through all of this, we are Saved, Redeemed, and Regenerated!  Our life here and the way it goes down is simply a race, and we are always training, we are always learning, we are always growing – Growing up,  I just thought that you’re saved and then I can go on living life however I choose – that was simply not The Gospel and praise God it’s not! I was not left to my own choosing, my own devices, I was graced with The Perfect Way.  We have been brought out of our life and into The Life of Christ and this is only by The Love, Mercy and Grace of God that we are HIS, we are the sheep of His Pasture, brought in to His Fold, His Kingdom! Oh Lord Your Power is relentless and Your Will is done, You plant us right where You want us, and amidst all the pain, joy, sadness, and love, it is You that is The Perfect Comforter, Perfect Almighty God, Sweet Refuge, God of All Grace to bring us through this life, and gloriously into the next.
Phil 3:8-10 8 Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ 9 and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith— 10 that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death,
Jeremiah 9:23-24 Thus says the LORD, “Let not a wise man boast of his wisdom, and let not the mighty man boast of his might, let not a rich man boast of his riches; 24 but let him who boasts boast of this, that he understands and knows Me, that I am the LORD who exercises loving kindness, justice and righteousness on earth; for I delight in these things,” declares the LORD.…
Isaiah 43:18-19 Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing, now it springs forth; do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.
In Jesus’ Name,
Rachel

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