I love my husband’s lavish giving! He’s the guy that if there is ever an apocalypse we will be able to give to a plethora of people and not run out of a single thing. Before Christ it was pretty awesome, he was always over the top but I received it just fine! Then Christ came into my life and changed me. Grace got me, but there was some (well lots of work to do and still is). Read on and you will subtly see the legalistic snare of the enemy to keep my sinful pride front and center (and yours too).
I used to believe everything I received was from my husband, the lavish giver. The only problem with that was, he would give material things on one hand, and dish out grief, sin, criticism, harsh words, and brokenness with the other. The enemy used this against me for years. The bouts of bitterness and resentment piled on my heart and I started to become disgusted with his giving. I had everything a girl could have and I had grew to be disgusted by it, I did not want anything, I only wanted his love and kindness that doesn’t cost a thing I thought. Seems legit and justifiable still when I read this out loud to myself. But the blind veil that covered my eyes gave the enemy a field day with my heart, which is deceitful above all things. I wanted not what I was receiving but something else. I could not enjoy his material gifts. This is my story, one that I pray will be used to break the chains of others who I know going through this same deception. The reason I know that, is because our hearts are so deceitful, the blindness of our eyes, the legalistic ways in which we want things to change. So what happened? The Lord, God of All Grace. Through His Spirit, He moved In me to work this out with Him. So, In His leading, I would say to Him simply, “Lord, I hate this bitterness in my heart towards my husband. Please take every crumb, take every lie that I’m believing and tell me The Truth.” And He did. He revealed His Truth to me so great and so deep that it changed my heart forever towards Gary. It was simply, you are Mine Rachel. I give to you how I decide. Every thing given to you by your husband is because I Love You, every good and perfect gift is from Me. And those imperfect critical words from your husband. I am your Salve, I am your Healer, your Defender. This is every believer’s sanctifying work of tearing down strongholds, taking our imperfect people off of the pedestal expecting them to be Jesus and put God, The Righteous Holy One, there. The enemy would have you believe that all of this is disgusting, that nothing is worth my Joy. But God revealed, it is all from Me, Your Perfect Savior and Loving Father. I give to you, because I Love you and I send your husband to do it. He doesn’t even realize this, but I have created him this way specifically for you, for your sanctification, for Me to be the greatest Treasure of your heart. So receive My gifts with The Joy of The Lord. Not from man. I will take this bitterness from you because then you will see Gary the way I see him. These gifts are not yours to keep, give them away as I lead you because everything is mine, so enjoy the fruits of your labor. I know the situation and circumstances of your life. I will redeem all of this now and for all eternity. Wait and Pray. Watch and See. This is the only way I can love him with an unconditional heart, still work, but Abiding in My Savior’s Unconditional Love for me a sinner, changed all of that!
Once God did this particular work in me back in 2017, I looked around and said, shoot, my kids. Lord, okay, Savior Reign. Forgive me for putting my sin on them and coupled with their own sin, Lord Praise You Father, we have this Treasure In Jars of Clay! His Name is Jesus! Our Redeemer!
“To be entirely at the disposal of God is life and liberty for us.”
He that can say, “This kingdom is mine,” makes a royal claim. He that can say, “This mountain of silver is mine,” makes a wealthy claim. But he that can say to The Lord, “You are my God,” has said more than all monarchs and millionaires can speak.
“The the course of my life is in Your Power; rescue me from the power of my enemies and from my persecutors.” Psalm 31:15
The Lord will not reject his people; he will not abandon his special possession. Judgment will again be founded on justice, and those with virtuous hearts will pursue it. Who will protect me from the wicked? Who will stand up for me against evildoers? Unless the Lord had helped me, I would soon have settled in the silence of the grave. I cried out, “I am slipping!” but your unfailing love, O Lord, supported me. When doubts filled my mind, your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer. Can unjust leaders claim that God is on their side— leaders whose decrees permit injustice? They gang up against the righteous and condemn the innocent to death. But the Lord is my fortress; my God is the mighty rock where I hide. God will turn the sins of evil people back on them. He will destroy them for their sins. The Lord our God will destroy them. (Psalms 94:14-23 NLT)
Grace and Peace,