Let me back up, I’ve never been a romanticist. In other words I never planned or dreamed up my wedding as a teen, I never looked at wedding dresses, I didn’t want the white picket fence. I was on my own track, independent as all get out. Then this man, storms into my life and jacks it all up. I tried to resist and I wasn’t sure why he wouldn’t give up. Didn’t he see I didn’t want to be pursued? I ran from him for days, months, I was annoyed and confused, I had another plan. What I didn’t know until years into our marriage is when God, during some hard years spoke to me and said remember that pursuit? I did that. He had no choice. I chose you for Gary before the foundation of the world. I am Faithful, so just wait and watch. It was then when I really knew why I was in this marriage, by The Grace of Almighty God. And this is a gift. Now just the other day Gary brings up how we met as if God wanted to remind him. He explains it like God tattooing my name on his head and he had to keep pursuing. God was telling him, I know it’s hard, keep going. Well damn, excuse my french thank you Jesus because I know the Power of God and yes we need to submit to what He says to do. I felt so loved and tears of joy came down when God reminded Gary of that pursuit because it’s important to know that God had a plan, through all the ups, downs, twists, turns, emotions, God is Faithful! Just like God pursues us, it is good that a man pursues His woman and keeps at it. I can’t believe I can say that today 😂 I had alot to learn about that and still am but enjoy it all the more in the last 10 years than ever.
So now, after much study of God’s Word I have lots of romance in me, oh the book of Hosea, Ruth, Song of Solomon just to name a few. His Word teaches me that The Glory of God over every piece of our lives will be revealed. Jesus Christ is The Lover of our souls, without Him, everything is meaningless and empty, even marriage. How do I know? Cause I’ve been there.
The biggest lessons for me has been that because God is my Father, everything, and I mean everything is Grace to me (God has had me repeat this back to Him many times, I had a hard time believing that). Meaning by His Spirit I learn and grow in every and I mean every single situation closer to Christ, instead of old nature bitter and resentful. And Forgiveness, this is not automatic and certainly not a light shrugging off. But The Truth is my forgiveness towards others lines up equally with how much I know The Father has forgiven me and the price He paid, The Perfect Sinless Lamb of God was slain for me. To this extent I am so grateful to forgive as The Lord has forgiven me. The transaction by God’s Grace goes something like this: Lord please take this heart of bitterness and hurt, it’s not mine you were crucified for it, Father in exchange fill me with Your Peace and Love. (Matthew 6:14-15) Only then can I walk upright with a heart that truly does Love as Christ, even though some won’t believe it, you know it’s true only by The Grace of God. This posture of humility is the only way. I know my weakness, but I know His Grace is sufficient and His Power will be made perfect in my weakness. When Christ humbled me with Luke 18:9-14 He changed everything. And it’s a daily humbling. It’s where my Joy and God Confidence comes from if anyone wonders. His mercy on me, a sinner.
Thank you for Holding me fast Lord, In Jesus Name.